Delius Diaries

The highs are really great, but the lows have been extremely difficult. My mantra during the low points, saying this to myself and Connor, has been “don’t let the hard parts of living away from home ruin the amazing moments we have”. Easier said than done. We have had a difficult start to 2026.

I hate being negative Nelly (cue Nelly Olson) but I am laying it all out here to hopefully heal my emotions. On a Monday in January, Connor and I were hit by a very large Belgium 18-wheeler truck on the way to school, on the highway. The truck hit our car on the back left as the truck was merging into our lane, obviously not seeing us. The impact turned us sideways in front of the truck and we were hit 3-4 more times on the left side until the truck came to a stop and then we did as well. With each impact I recall saying to Connor, “we’re ok”. He was quiet and calm. The truck was so big I never saw the driver as I looked up each time it hit us. It was red. I saw other cars as we were fish tailing in and out of the other lanes terrified they would run into us, fortunately no other cars were involved. It was a busy work/school day morning so I know we made a mess of a lot of schedules. Thank you Lord for the side impact bar in our car that kept us safe. We were both shaken and sore but fortunately no physical injuries. But emotionally we have been hit hard. I already felt uncomfortable driving in Brussels, now our nerves are freyed. After we arrived here I told someone that it’s 3rd world driving here, they scoffed at me. I kid you not, it is not normal driving here. The rules are different, the roads are different, of course the signs are different, but the main difference is the aggressive nature of the drivers. But as I said in the moment, we are ok. I have repeated that many times since.

The Lord sent several angels to help us, with three other drivers stopping to assist. The funny thing, now it’s funny, we were in shock and they were speaking Dutch, we had no idea what they were saying. We stared at them unable to speak, finally someone said, “English?”, and Connor jumped in to answer. Someone called the police and a wrecker. We were helped out of the car and stood on the side of the road, in the spitting rain, with a nice lady who hugged us both and calmly told us what would happen next. We were both grateful for her kindness. The police were efficient, only one spoke a little bit of English. Scott was able to get to us, talked with the police and drove us home after we finished with the police and our car was towed away.

In the moments on the side of the road I watched our 14.5 year old son flex between being a man who jumped in to shoulder the situation with me and a boy who cried, scared deeply by what had happened. He helped me scale the roadside barricade so we were out of the way saying, “I got you mom”, he held my hand, he helped clear the car, we hugged and cried. I see his future, a capable man who will take care of his loved ones no matter the situation. He is his dad in so many ways. And since this day, we have this unfortunate shared experience that still scares us, but we take deep breaths when a flashback happens and we keep going. We spent the afternoon snuggled together on the couch with soup and grilled cheese watching movies as Bucky laid at our feet. We both cried a few more times, sweet boy.

If you read my previous post about buying a car in Belgium, you are now saying “Oh no!” Yes, we are going through that process AGAIN! Argh! With a few minor adjustments, we are getting a similar one size bigger SUV and we are having it delivered to Brussels. Visiting Bremerhaven, Germany once in a lifetime is more than enough for anyone. The car that we picked, was on the water to Germany, has now landed in the port and the paperwork completed to apply for tags. Remember, nothing is easy or quick in Belgium, the administrative state. So now we wait, hoping we can drive the car by the end of February, maybe. The other wack a doodle thing is about the wrecked car, which was totaled. For totaled vehicles in Belgium, insurance pays part and they turn you over to a salvage yard for the rest. So in our situation USAA paid us 60% of the value and we then got an offer from a USAA partner salvage company for the remaining 40%, which was a complete rip off. They valued the car way too low. So we have spent the past few weeks battling with USAA and searching for a salvage company to offer a better price for the car. And the fact that insurance doesn’t payout for the entire transaction is a real stinker! A complete racket. Truly, nothing is easy here.

As part of the fun with this experience, we have had three rental cars. Each time had to learn driving a new car (“where is the button for X, Y, Z?”), while being an emotional wreck. Connor kinda likes the car rodeo since he is a car enthusiast and enjoys explaining why each manufacturer has their car design in various ways. Bucky has not enjoyed the back of a few of the rental cars. We now have a rental we have kept and become accustomed to, but I will be very happy to turn it in!

Alright, those are the lows. Sorry you had to read all that and feel the emotions with me. Now on to the highs! After the accident we needed a break from the city, cars and traffic….we decided on Bruges. A short 70 minute drive from Brussels, Scott drove us while I tried to remain calm. Deep breaths and prayers. We spent the night in this picturesque village, no cars was a very nice break. We walked and walked, and just breathed. Bucky came with us and had a nice trip. He had lunch with us and when we left the restaurant other guests commented on how calm he was. Finally an 8-year old with maturity. We climbed the bell tower, we visited churches, we bought cheap sunglasses and we tasted amazingly rich chocolate.

Our dinner was at a local restaurant with a husband and wife team cooking and serving dinner. I loved it. In this safe and small village, walking at night is such a treat. The buildings and canals are lit up beautifully. It’s sweet, romantic and calming, hitting all the buttons for us after the week of challenge. Connor and I climbed the bell tower while Scott and Bucky people watched on the town square. At each level we were able to look out at the square to check in on our boys. Scott was happy drinking a beer, Bucky crossed his paws while the waiter brought him water. They were cute together!

In addition to the lovely buildings along the canal, the bell tower was really fun to climb. Anyone seen the movie, “In Bruges” – and remember the scene (“Elephants!” – IYKYK). Well it’s true, the stairwell is super tiny and steep. More than any other bell tower I have climbed here in Europe. Along the climb there are stops to see the antique clock and bell mechanism. I love seeing how things work like that.

We visited The Church of our Lady, which dates to the 13th century. Many interesting points to note about this church, first it is the tallest structure in Bruges and the 3rd tallest brick-work church tower in the world! The art this church houses is historic and beautiful. Of note is a Madonna and child white marble sculpture by Michelangelo. But what I found the most stunning was the room size bronze depiction of the Life of Christ, the Passion Triptych, from the 16th-century. The artwork depicts the life and passion of Christ, including the Crucifixion, Flagellation, and Descent into Limbo. The artist’s portrayal is very unique, raw and stark against the white chancel backdrop. Sunday morning I was up early with Bucky and went for a long walk through the historic village. We were one of just a few other walkers enjoying the quiet solitude and beauty of the streets and canals as the church bells rang.

Fast forward a few weeks to Valentine’s weekend, we had planned a long weekend to Prague for part of Connor’s winter break. Unfortunately Scott’s schedule changed and we had to cancel Prague. Scott and I visited Prague many years ago and want to take Connor back; we will figure out a new plan soon. Instead, last minute we decided to go to Lille, France, a 90 minute drive from Brussels just over the Belgium border. The Grand Place was petite but full of lively locals. The historic center seemed less like a tourist spot and more like a local hometown. The shopping was great, I found two pairs of shoes, Connor found two quarter zip sweaters and Scott bought a tie. The food was yummy with a late breakfast at a very popular Boulangerie on Saturday – quiche with the most delicate bottom only crust, banana chocolate chip bread and pain au chocolat (Connor’s fav) that we ate while sitting at the fountain in the square near the Grand Place. We were not impressed with the French coffee, although Connor did enjoy his hot chocolate, which was unfortunate as it was very cold and we wanted a warm beverage. On walk about during the day we found a beer tasting room that overlooked the Cathedral, which was quite unique. As with most of the cathedrals, they are built/rebuilt over many different centuries due to budget, varying leaders or war. This Cathedral during its most recent rebuild combined old world architecture with modern art. Very striking and enjoyable to walk through. We didn’t get a lot of pictures while in Lille, but it is definitely a town worth visiting if you are in northern France. Dinner was at a brasserie sitting at the bar with lots of French language and very little English. I got Connor and Scott to be a little bit more adventurous with the selections that we shared – Flemish beef stew and pork shoulder with several cabbage/kraut options, and of course cheese, bread and local beers.

Scott and I enjoyed a quiet morning drinking coffee and watching downhill skiing in the hotel restaurant while we let Connor sleep in. We left Lille and drove back for a late brunch at the house just as the snow started in Brussels. Currently Scott and Connor are out in the snow running one of the RC trucks, while I am sitting in the living room with a fire. Bucky is at his new happy place, a small dog boarder I found. After jumping through may hoops, he was accepted into their program. Have I mentioned that dogs have a pet passport in Belgium? Yup, and you have to carry it with you wherever the dog goes. Bucky was allowed into this boarder’s program after the following 1) 60 minute in person interview, 2) an additional shot, 3) recommendation letter from our home boarder 4) pet passport corrected with stickers, stamps and signatures from a different Vet, 5) 1 day test, 6) an additional test day to make sure Bucky was comfortable and 7) appointment times for drop off and pick up which are not flexible. I worked hard to get Bucky into this program! But now that he is in, I feel much better about how they take care of the dogs. Which is good, because we have other adventures planned that we can’t take Bucky along with us. The next adventure may be a surprise for some!

Thanks for following along with us and keeping us in your prayers as we navigate so many things great and small, fun and difficult.